Dancing in Weakness

It has been 3 months since I have posted. I have been in an extreme season of weakness!  This has probably been the weakest I have ever been in terms of my ability and strength to take care of my family and the normal responsibilities of life as a mom of four kids.  I am pregnant with my fifth child which is a glorious gift and blessing! I have been dealing with extreme morning sickness and fatigue until just the last week or so.  The Lord has been very faithful to reveal to me during this season how truly dependent I am on Him at all times, for every breath and every ounce of strength.  It seems 100 times more challenging to accomplish 1/10th of what i was previously capable of.  Every movement of service and worship brings me to the very end of myself.  My comfort is that the Lord sees my frame and knows my weakness.  He has sent loved ones to surround and serve me as his arms. Is 40 says that He is gentle with those who are with young. This is one of my favorite verses!  When I dance in this place, I must believe my weak movements move his heart.  They aren’t as graceful anymore; they aren’t as many or as creative, or as strong….,but I have to believe they touch the heart of God.  When Jesus walked the earth He saw the widow who put in two small coins and proclaimed it the largest gift of all because it was all she had. I have to believe that when I give Jesus all I have in love, service, and worship when I am at my very weakest, He is pleased because it is all I have.  All illusions of my own strength and grace have been taken away, and I see myself desperately in need of great mercy every minute of the day.  Dancing is sometimes the last thing I feel like doing when I am weak, tired, and sick. Yet, I know that when God gives me grace to move before him in my weakness, it is a testimony to both His worth and the reality of His resurrection power over the effects of sin such as sickness and death.  One day I will be perfected in His glorious strength…,and until that day, with all the strength I am given (whether much or little), I will dance!

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